Dealing with intrusive thoughts can feel like being trapped in your own personal nightmare. Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) has a way of isolating you in your own mind as it sinks its claws into the parts of life that matter most to you, making you question your character, your safety, and even your sanity.
What makes it even worse is the overwhelming shame that often accompanies those thoughts. When it feels no one else could possibly understand what’s happening in your mind, you can end up believing that you’re flawed, dangerous, or beyond help.
It’s a lonely place to be. But it isn’t a place you have to stay.
The thoughts that torment you don’t define you, and with proper treatment, they don’t have to control you either. Here at NOCD, our therapists know exactly how these thoughts work, and they specialize in helping people see through the lies OCD tells them.
We’ve gathered messages from 10 NOCD Therapists who are deeply familiar with the shame and loneliness of OCD—including some with lived experience. We hope their words can remind you that you’re so much more than your OCD, and you have nothing to be ashamed of.
Those thoughts aren’t you: 10 NOCD Therapists on OCD’s biggest lie
“You are not your OCD. OCD can take any form, and it loves to prey on what we love and value the most. Your OCD is your OCD. It’s not you, and it’s not your values. It’s the opposite of that.” –Andrew Latoszewski, MSW, LCSW
“You have a purpose and a value. Your value is not determined by what’s going on in your mind, or what your fears are about yourself. It’s what you’re experiencing that’s the problem. That’s what we’re attacking and facing. You are valuable, and you are not your fears.” –Lisa Marie Porter, MA, LMHC
“I understand the pain of dealing with all of these scary thoughts. I know how scary OCD was for me, and even if it’s not the same type of OCD, I understand all of those questions that come with it. To me, you’re not just some person coming in with symptoms. I’m trying to help you live a better life, and I always keep that in mind.” –Jackie Belenky, MSW, LCSW
“Sometimes, OCD can make you feel like your thoughts are so taboo. It can make you feel like you’re on an island. I want you to feel like you have a community or support or a village, and to know that you’re not the only one who thinks this way. You may feel afraid saying these things out loud, but they’re actually quite common. They’re so common that we have a name for it.” –Vanessa Duran, MSW, LCSW
“Those really disturbing thoughts are not reflective of you. They’re something else taking over that we can learn to manage.” –Kristine Guerra, MS, LMFT
“I’m diagnosed with anxiety and OCD myself. Not knowing what was going on and believing that the thoughts I was experiencing were abnormal or weird was rough. I always tell people, ‘Say whatever you think you need to say.’ I don’t care if it doesn’t make sense. We’ll figure it out together—because more than likely, I’ve experienced something similar or had experiences where someone has expressed something similar.” –Sara Admire, MSW, LCSW
“These are unwanted thoughts. You’re not a monster, and you’re not alone.” –Selma Williams, MSW, LCSW
“I’m never going to look down on you. I’m passionate about helping anybody with any OCD symptoms because OCD has a lot of stigma. It’s scarier than the world even knows. Unless they’ve experienced it themselves, have a loved one with it, or have studied it, people don’t really understand how debilitating OCD can be.” –Tandy Cyrus, MED, LPCC
“I’ll treat you the same way I would treat my loved ones. I would never judge somebody for their thoughts and experiences because I’ve been there.” –Rachel Owsley, MA, LMHC
“I want people to know that their deeper, darker thoughts don’t make them crazy. OCD makes people believe they are alone in their experiences, but that’s not true. There is a way forward, and you don’t have to be afraid to talk about what you’re going through.” –Joann Crants, MSW, LPC
Shame lessens when shared
If you’ve been silently struggling with intrusive thoughts that fill you with shame and fear, please know you’re not as alone as OCD wants you to believe. Everything you might be feeling—the confusion, the doubt, the exhaustion of constantly fighting your own mind—is understood by so many others, and you don’t have to feel this way forever.
OCD is treatable, and the thoughts that might seem so overwhelming and defining right now can become manageable with the right care.
With evidence-based approaches like exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy, the most proven treatment for OCD, and the guidance of a therapist who truly understands the condition, you can learn to recognize OCD’s voice as separate from your own and reclaim your sense of self.
Here at NOCD, all of our therapists are extensively trained in OCD. They know how taboo intrusive thoughts can feel, how much shame they can create, and how difficult it can be to reach out for help with something so misunderstood, especially if you’ve had negative experiences in the past.
Our therapists see you as a whole person beyond the symptoms you’re experiencing. You won’t be judged or rejected for the thoughts in your head because they know you’re more than your OCD, and they’re dedicated to helping you see that for yourself. Shame can feel heavy when you’re carrying it on your own, but many people find that their burden lessens when they open up to someone who understands.
To find out more about getting matched with a NOCD Therapist, book a free 15-minute call with our team.