“I often think about killing people. I don’t enjoy these thoughts, and I’d never want to cause harm—much less death—to anyone. Despite that, homicidal thoughts regularly pop up in my mind and I don’t know why they’re happening or how to get rid of them.”
If you can relate to this experience, know that you’re not alone. Homicidal thoughts—thoughts about harming or killing another person—can naturally leave you very distressed, concerned, and confused. You may start to question your intentions and worry about what these thoughts might mean about your character. You might ruminate over the image that unfolds in your mind, which can create a sense of fear that you could lose control at any moment.
Whatever the exact nature of your homicidal thoughts, it’s important to know that the vast majority of the time, intrusive thoughts about killing someone do not mean you’re an evil person who actually wants to do harm. And there is help available for what you’re experiencing.
Sometimes, homicidal thoughts are just that: a passing thought that doesn’t sit in your mind long enough to even cause distress. Other times, when the thoughts are accompanied by a plan to carry out an act of violence, homicidal thoughts require emergency help. Even less understood, however, are the instances where homicidal thoughts are actually a symptom of a mental health issue like obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), which is extremely common and highly treatable.
Keep reading to understand what’s at the root of your thoughts—so that you can get the help and relief you need.
If your thoughts about homicide are intrusive, they could be a sign of OCD. We can help.
What is homicidal ideation?
Homicidal ideation is a broad term that encompasses thoughts about homicide—aka thoughts about killing others. For some people, homicidal ideation is a vague idea—for instance, “I want this person or politician dead!” For others, homicidal thoughts involve more specifics about killing.
While homicidal thoughts aren’t something many people openly discuss, they’re more common than you might think. As one New York Times article explained, Professor David Buss of the University of Texas asked his students if they had ever thought about killing someone, and if so, to write down their homicidal fantasies. He found that a whopping 91% of the men and 84% of the women had homicidal fantasies.
Clearly, given the high percentage of people who have had a homicidal thought, most people who have homicidal ideation do not actually commit homicide.
Does that mean homicidal ideation shouldn’t be taken seriously? Of course not. In fact, if you’re having homicidal thoughts, it’s imperative to seek professional help—especially if the thoughts are frequent, vivid, and disruptive, or if you can answer yes to these questions:
- Are you thinking about death or homicide frequently?
- Do you regularly make comments about wanting to hurt or kill others?
- Do you feel a constant sense of hopelessness or despair?
- Are you withdrawing from family, friends, and colleagues?
- Have you been engaging in drug and alcohol use to cope with your thoughts?
- Do you have extreme changes in mood or behavior?
Likewise, if you’re someone with homicidal thoughts who also has access to the means to carry out your plans, that’s a medical emergency and it’s critical to seek help from a professional. Therapists have access to resources like The Association of Threat Assessment Professionals (ATAP), an organization that specializes in homicidal ideation, and can help you navigate your risk factors toward violence and connect you with the right medical care if needed. You can also go to the emergency room at your local hospital and tell them you are “feeling homicidal” and you need help.
Homicidal thoughts and OCD: how they’re connected
While most people think of OCD as an extreme fear of dirt or germs or an overwhelming desire to make things orderly, there’s a lot more to the mental health disorder than that.
Harm OCD is a common subtype of OCD that causes intrusive thoughts, images, or urges—known as obsessions—about harming oneself or others. For some people with this subtype, the intrusive thoughts center around killing others.
People with harm OCD are not more likely to harm themselves or others than people with other OCD subtypes. However, they may view their intrusive and unwanted thoughts as an indication of a desire to act. This fuels their anxiety and drives them to engage in compulsions—behaviors or mental acts aimed at eliminating this fear (for instance, removing all sharp objects from their home).
OCD tends to fixate on what is most important to someone. When a person values being caring and responsible above all else, OCD will latch onto this and cause them to have obsessions and compulsions in opposition to their core values. This makes the doubt-riddled thoughts all the more anxiety-provoking (“How can I be absolutely sure I won’t act on the impulse I just had to stab my baby? Do I secretly actually want to hurt him?”).
Homicidal ideation vs. OCD
There’s a clear distinction between what is intrusive and unwanted compared to homicidal ideation, says Melanie Dideriksen, Licensed Therapist, LPC, CAADC, at NOCD. For people with homicidal ideation, there’s often a lack of empathy and an element of anger toward the people they want to hurt.
“Someone with OCD will think about something or even watch something on TV, then think they are going to do that thing—and this is very distressing to them,” says Tracie Ibrahim, LMFT, CST, Chief Compliance Officer at NOCD. An example is watching a horror movie and being terrified of turning into a violent serial killer.
For people who actually want to kill someone, the biggest difference is that they’re not afraid of homicidal thoughts and they don’t avoid situations or people, Ibrahim says: “They’re more interested in figuring out ‘here’s how I am actually going to murder someone,’ rather than ‘why am I having these thoughts?’”
Another difference? OCD involves the presence of compulsions. “If you’re actually having an intention to commit homicide, you don’t do compulsions to avoid those thoughts because you’re not scared of them. If you are scared, it tends to be more about getting caught and in trouble,” says Ibrahim. “On the other hand, when someone presents with homicidal thoughts that are related to OCD, it becomes evident that there are fears and compulsions, especially avoidance of triggers.”
Compulsions related to harm OCD
- Removing all the objects from your home that would make it easier to act on violent urges
- Methodically replacing each violent thought with a compassionate one
- Doing repeated actions with your body that “prevent” you from becoming violent, like sitting on your hands
- Avoiding the subway because of a fear that you’ll act on an urge to push someone onto the train tracks
- Repeatedly asking others to confirm that you’re not a violent person
- Spending hours researching the backgrounds of serial killers to convince yourself that you’re not like them
Other mental health conditions that could be lead to intrusive thoughts about homicide
Research has shown that thoughts of homicide are more common in people with certain mental disorders—and while OCD is one, it’s not the only one. Others include:
- Borderline personality disorder
- Antisocial personality disorder
- Schizoaffective disorder
- Schizophrenia
When a mental health condition is at play, there are usually other symptoms besides homicidal thoughts. That’s why it’s important to be honest with a mental health professional about all your symptoms—to help them properly assess why you may be having these thoughts and determine the appropriate treatment plan.
How to get help for OCD-related homicidal thoughts
OCD is a chronic condition, so there is no “cure.” However, intrusive thoughts about homicide can be drastically reduced using a specific type of therapy known as exposure and response prevention (ERP). ERP was created specifically for OCD and it’s an evidence-based treatment, meaning that research has proven it’s an effective way to treat OCD.
To understand how ERP works, it’s important to understand that doubt and uncertainty are at the center of OCD. People who have OCD struggle to tolerate any level of uncertainty and often go to great lengths to avoid it.
Someone with harm OCD may feel extreme uncertainty when they have violent thoughts about hurting someone or when, for instance, they stand near a knife. The brain tells them: You can’t actually know for sure that you won’t pick up this knife to hurt your family member, so it’s better to run out of the room so you have some control.
The goal of ERP is to experience the thoughts without running away from them; the goal is not to gain 100% certainty that nothing bad will happen. If it sounds scary, know that you don’t have to go through it alone. It’s best to do ERP with a licensed therapist who specializes in OCD and ERP and can guide and support you.
The process unfolds gradually. For instance, at first your ERP therapist might simply ask you to watch a TV scene of a murder and try to sit with the discomfort it brings up—without resorting to a compulsion like asking for reassurance that you’re not capable of murder. When you’re ready to face bigger fears, they might ask you to actually hold a knife. Over time, ERP treatment gets you to a point where uncertainty no longer causes intense fear.
The bottom line: Homicidal thoughts are disturbing and scary, and it can feel difficult to open up about them. Many people may fear judgment or worry that expressing these thoughts could lead to serious consequences. However, seeking support from a mental health professional can provide a safe space to explore these feelings without fear, helping you develop coping strategies and overall understanding.
If your thoughts about homicide are causing distress, a NOCD specialist can help you explore your thoughts in a safe and nonjudgmental environment. Book a free call to learn more.
