Living with OCD

If someone asked you what your values are, how would you answer? Whether it’s compassion, honesty, loyalty, or kindness, our values are a fundamental

A quickening pulse, rapid breathing, spiraling thoughts—a panic attack can be intense, both mentally and physically. The sudden feelings of fear and

Shorter days, colder weather, and cloudy skies can all lead to a drop in a person’s mood or energy level and for people with OCD, they may also lead to an

“I shouldn’t have said that…now everyone’s probably judging me.” “They’re looking at me. Do I have something in my teeth?” “I’m going to say I feel sick

Have you ever felt like you were all alone in your struggles with OCD? Like the intrusive thoughts or compulsions you were experiencing were too shameful

If your memories are the story of your life, you can think of OCD as an uninvited co-author. While almost everyone questions their memories from time to

Intrusive thoughts can feel overwhelming and anxiety-provoking under any circumstances, but especially when they revolve around doing something you don’t

There’s no question that untreated OCD can have a profound impact on a person’s life. Symptoms of the condition can be exhausting to manage. The distress

Living with untreated OCD can be brutal. You wake up in the morning, begin obsessing immediately, and then go to sleep twelve hours later hoping your next

Consistent self-criticism. A desire for constant structure and organization. A deep fear of making mistakes or falling short of self-imposed or perceived

I knew ERP worked, after all, it helped me so much in the past. I knew I just needed to put the difficult work in and keep forging ahead.

I always thought that if I didn’t feel like I wanted to do something, leave the house, or do something that I had maybe previously enjoyed doing, it was me making that choice. Now I can clearly decipher the difference between me wanting or not wanting to do something versus the OCD telling me I shouldn’t do something. I don’t need to let OCD run my life...

Seemingly overnight, these thoughts became more and more intense. I was consumed with guilt over them. It snowballed into experiencing unwanted thoughts about harming my family; the people that I loved the most in the world. I knew I had to tell my wife. I needed to seek help.

My family was surprised when they learned of my OCD diagnosis, I didn’t have the stereotypical signs of OCD. I didn’t wash my hands for countless hours, I wasn’t someone who was super organized. To look at me, you would not suspect all of the turmoil that went on in my mind. This is one of the most frustrating parts of this disorder, people do not often understand the mental compulsions. Many people just see the physical compulsions and don’t really understand the “why” behind the compulsions. I didn’t even know that there was such a thing as mental compulsions.

The uncertainty I’d spent my whole life running from now feels exciting and liberating. I don’t need to know “for sure” before I move my feet. I GET TO MAKE MISTAKES. And that’s horrible and amazing all at the same time.

Something that has helped me along the way is no matter the content of the intrusive thought/feeling, I will ask myself “and then what”....you see, the story must go on. Play it out. Play out the worst case scenario. And then what happens… it always comes back to I just don’t like how it feels, and we know that life will go on.

I don’t remember a life before my OCD showed up, as some of my earliest memories involve (what I now know are) obsessions and compulsions. I remember being early school-age and feeling different from everyone else around me.

My life was going great. I was an award-winning college quarterback with a bright future ahead of me. But then OCD came out of nowhere and derailed everything.