Is it normal to only sleep with background noise? I’m afraid of the silence

Meta description: Many people like sleeping with background noise. For some, though, it can cause intense anxiety. Here’s how to get help.

For many people, the quiet darkness of nighttime has been a source of uneasiness since childhood. Or maybe it simply feels too quiet. As a result, having some kind of background noise—a fan, white noise machine, or even a familiar TV TV show—can fill in that stark silence and help you drift off.

But what if the idea of going to sleep in silence is a source of huge anxiety, and even terror for you? In this article, we’ll talk about what could be behind the deep-seated fear of sleeping in silence and, more importantly, how you can get help overcoming it. 

Is it OK to only sleep with background noise?  

Needing some kind of background noise to sleep is not unusual, and isn’t anything to worry about in and of itself.

White noise—which is a kind of quiet, neutral noise, such as a humming fan, or calming nature sounds—can be a helpful tool for sleep, especially if you’re a light sleeper who is prone to waking up if you hear other sounds. Having a constant, low noise in the background masks some of the other things that you might hear at night, like the house settling, horns honking outside, or pets running around the house. Some studies have even found that certain kinds of noise, like “white” and “pink” noise (which has a lower frequency than white noise) can lead to improved sleep quality.  

Your need for noise could even just come down to personal preference, and your sleep history. For example, if you grew up in a house that always had some kind of white noise in the background during bedtime, it might have become an ingrained routine as you’re dozing off. And there doesn’t seem to be any real downside to running a noise machine or a fan if it helps you nod off more easily. In fact, a 2023 U.S. News & World Report sleep survey found that more than one-third of adults listen to white noise as part of their bedtime routine.  

However, whether or not this is a healthy habit can depend on the motivation behind your need for noise. If you find that it’s an absolute non-negotiable, here are some questions you might ask yourself to determine whether they could be cause for concern: 

• Are you trying to avoid certain thoughts, worries, or fears that might come to you in the silence? 
• Does it feel like running background noise is more to distract you from your inner dialogue rather than soothing and relaxing you? 

If you answered yes to these questions, it’s possible that your fear of silence and need for background noise might be a sign of a bigger problem. 

Why am I scared to sleep in silence? 

Finding it difficult to sleep in a dead silence is one thing. Feeling fear and anxiety about it is another. If the latter seems to be more your case, it’s possible that it may be linked to an underlying condition like general anxiety disorder (GAD), obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), or a phobia. Let’s take a quick look at each of these.

General anxiety disorder (GAD) 

GAD is a mental health condition that is marked by severe and ongoing worry. The level of anxiety that people feel can be so heightened and overpowering that it interferes with their quality of life and ability to handle daily activities. 

In addition to the anxiety itself, some signs and symptoms that accompany GAD include: 

• Restlessness or feeling “on edge” 
• Fatigue 
• Irritability 
• Muscle tension 
• Difficulty concentrating 
• Sleep disturbances 

“People will tell me that one of the worst times of the day for their anxiety is when they’re in bed waiting to fall asleep,” explains April Kilduff, MA, LCPC, LMHC, a therapist with NOCD. “There are no distractions, and nothing else to occupy their mind—it’s just them and their thoughts. There’s a 24/7 loop of worries among people with GAD that can show up during this particular time of night. As a result, they might resort to distraction in the form of noise as a way to silence those seemingly endless fears and stressors. 

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) 

OCD might be another potential explanation, especially if your fear of silence is leading to compulsive actions to add the “right” amount of noise. OCD is a condition that is marked by the presence of obsessions and/or compulsions. 

• Obsessions are intrusive and unwanted thoughts that are distressing and anxiety-inducing.  
• Compulsions are mental or physical actions that are done to quell the anxiety that comes from your obsessions. 

While most people have strange, intrusive thoughts once in a while, they can generally move forward from them. But if you have OCD, it’s a different story. 

Take, for example, a subtype of the condition called “Just Right” OCD. In this type of OCD, people feel as though they need conditions to “feel right”—and if they don’t, it becomes a source of great anxiety and discomfort that doesn’t go away until the problem is fixed. One of the best and most widely-known examples of this kind of OCD involves a compulsive preoccupation with symmetry. However, the insistent need to feel “just right” can also exist in other situations, like in the sleep environment. 

Needing a quiet room to sleep is a condition that most people might want simply to fall asleep. However, if you have OCD, you might feel like your need for silence is not just important—it’s absolutely necessary. If those conditions aren’t met, it’s more than just annoying and frustrating. It can be a source of extreme anxiety. 

“OCD could take that need to an extreme beyond what most of us would consider silence,” explains Kilduff. “There’s probably still going to be some rustling leaves, or some other noise that happens, and for someone with OCD that might not be quiet enough—the disorder demands absolute silence to sleep. And that could cause a lot of problems.” 

There’s also the possibility that people with OCD need noise to sleep to block out the thoughts that invade their minds as they’re waiting to doze off, similar to people with GAD. In this case, though, they might need the noise to prevent intrusive thoughts, rather than alleviate anxiety. “Bedtime is a prime time for intrusive thoughts to show up,” says Kilduff. “And the background noise acts as a kind of coping mechanism and a distraction. Having some kind of noise constantly running can occupy your brain without engaging you too heavily—with the goal being that there’s less space for those intrusive thoughts to occupy.”

Phobias 

Finally, if you’re dealing with specific fears about nighttime, the dark, or silence in general that you can’t easily move past, you might be dealing with a phobia. 

Phobias are intense, clinically diagnosable fears about a specific subject. They’re often deep-rooted, excessive, and irrational, but even though you might recognize that fact, it’s still enough to induce extreme panic when you’re faced with that fear. 

Some signs and symptoms of a phobia include: 

• Avoiding the subject of their fear at all costs 
• Physical symptoms of a panic attack like sweating, hyperventilating, rapid heartbeat, chest pain, and shaking 

Some specific phobias that may be at play if you are struggling with sleeping in silence include: 

• Nyctophobia, or fear of the night or darkness 
• Somniphobia, which is a fear of falling asleep 
• Sedatephobia, or a fear of silence 

When is it time to get help? 

If your need for noise at night is severe enough that brings you impairment and distress, or if you feel intense anxiety when you have to sleep in silence (say, if you’re at a hotel and forgot your white noise machine), it might be time to talk to a professional to see whether there’s something more serious going on, and how you can move past the fear. 

“For a lot of people who do like to sleep with background noise, if push comes to shove, they could still fall asleep. If you feel like it’s a 100% need, or that there will be some catastrophic consequence, it’s worth checking in with a therapist to gauge if there may be some anxiety or even OCD issues at play,” says Kilduff. 

If your fear of sleeping in silence is linked to GAD or OCD, a type of behavioral therapy called exposure and response prevention (ERP) may help. 

ERP is considered the most successful treatment for OCD. Unlike traditional talk therapy, which can backfire and make OCD worse, ERP has been proven to be highly effective in a majority of patients with OCD and anxiety disorders. 

ERP involves repeated exposure to fearful thoughts without giving in to the short-term relief that people with OCD experience when they perform their compulsions. After all, OCD is not a disorder that you can run and hide from or drown out with noise—instead, you have to make the choice to confront it. Ultimately, the goal of ERP is to take the power away from your thoughts and help you realize that there is nothing to fear from them, rather than trying to drown them out or make them go away completely. 

To understand how ERP works, Kilduff gives a few examples of how ERP could work if you have a fear of sleeping in silence: The therapist might start by creating an imaginary script to help you explore what it is like to fall asleep in silence—or even just explore sitting in silence to see if it’s a challenge. “Maybe if you can get comfortable being awake in silence, you could then transition to being comfortable sleeping in silence,” Kilduff explains. You may then be asked to practice taking very short naps in silence before slowly working up to a full night of sleep. 

If ERP sounds scary, it’s important to know that the process is never determined by the therapist alone. You get the power to rank your fears and triggers from the least to the most distressing and work your way up, so you never have to start with a situation that is too overwhelming at first. You may also find comfort in knowing that some people see benefits and changes within a matter of weeks of starting ERP. 

The bottom line here is that needing some kind of noise in the background to sleep is fairly normal, but feeling intense fear and anxiety in its absence is not. If you feel that your fear of sleeping in silence may be related to OCD, NOCD can help. Schedule a free 15-minute call with the NOCD team to learn more about how virtual ERP sessions can help you take the power back from your OCD.