What did mental health mean to you growing up? Was it spoken about, or something that wasn’t discussed? Did you know anyone who was in therapy? There are countless factors that can influence your answers to these questions, from your family’s attitudes and experiences to the culture you were raised in. These factors can also influence how you talk to your loved ones about mental health—or if you choose to do it at all.
If you’ve chosen to share your struggles with those close to you, you may have found it liberating, but you may have also found it to be a discussion that came with a lot of stress and worry. There’s a reason for this. While we’ve made great progress in how we understand and talk about our mental health, misunderstandings and misinformation remain common. Your loved ones can be a powerful source of support—and likely want to be—but may not understand what you’re experiencing or how they can help.
Ultimately, the choice of whether or not to discuss your mental health with your loved ones is personal. No matter what you choose to do, it can be helpful to develop an awareness of why misunderstandings of mental health conditions are still so prevalent and what you can do to help loved ones understand your experiences.
The historical silence around mental health
For those who dealt with mental health conditions before the internet was widely used, information was scarce. There were no databases to turn to for advice and no social media platforms to find like-minded individuals who could relate to your struggles. These resources that we’re so used to simply didn’t exist, making it difficult to spread awareness of mental health issues.
For a long time, there were few people doing the difficult work of mental health advocacy. It was a different time—resources were limited and decades upon decades of misinformation and mischaracterization of mental health conditions had determined society’s views on the topic. During the 1990s, more research was dedicated to understanding mental health, and our overall awareness slowly started to increase. This is when Mental Illness Awareness Week in October was created to foster greater awareness of and advocacy for mental health conditions. Finally, mental health was no longer a forbidden topic; public education was finally being provided on a large scale.
As a result, the lens through which mental health problems were viewed began to shift. People began looking at mental health the way they viewed physical health. More and more people were seeing mental health for what it was: a real health concern, deserving of recognition and care. This opened the door for education about the impact of mental health conditions on those who were suffering from them. Legislators were getting involved and changes were being made to better support those who were having difficulties, just as there were regulations already in place for those with medical problems. Still, there was a long road ahead.
A new time, with new views on mental health
We’ve come so far from where we were decades ago. Mental health is not only better understood, but openly discussed. The greater communication around this and related topics has provided much-needed support for many. What was once hidden in the dark has been brought to light. People with mental health conditions are being heard and more properly diagnosed and treated. Thankfully, things are changing, and more and more people are being helped.
You too can help those who may not understand mental health conditions, and others who struggle with their mental health, not knowing that there’s a whole community of people with similar experiences. When we draw attention to incorrect portrayals of mental health conditions, when we educate people who are misusing mental health terminology, when we share our experiences, and when we address discrimination in all areas of our lives, it allows others to find the support and help they need to get better.
Advice for talking to loved ones about mental health
It’s important to keep in mind that some of our loved ones may have been raised in a time when mental health concerns were viewed very differently, and that they may still hold some of these beliefs. It can be very hard to change a way of thinking that has persisted for so long. Remember that you don’t have to convince them or anyone else of the legitimacy of your experience. Although it may be tempting to try, remember that sometimes people just don’t understand things they don’t have personal experience with. Education can help, but it won’t always change long-held beliefs.
Maybe you, like me, were also raised in a time when it was taboo or unheard of to speak about mental health issues. If so, you may also have difficulty putting your experience in words. That’s okay. It’s important to recognize this and have self-compassion; you are doing the best you can with what you’ve been given. Whether or not you choose to share your experience, it is yours and no one else’s.
If you do choose to open up about your mental health, try talking to people you have a close relationship with, people who truly care about you. Start by letting them know that you value them and your relationship. Acknowledge that you appreciate their role in your life, and that you would find it valuable to discuss your experiences with them. Even if they don’t truly understand, it can be liberating to share with the people you care about. And remember: it’s not your job to make them understand. That’s their responsibility—your experiences are your own, no matter what.
Whether you tell your loved ones about your experience with mental health issues or not, please know that there are others with experiences like yours, and that you don’t need to continue to suffer. You can reach out and talk to a professional. I know that starting therapy may seem scary but don’t let that stop you from living the life you want to live. You deserve to get effective treatment. If you aren’t sure what you are experiencing and suspect mental health care is needed, there are many resources available.
About NOCD
NOCD provides effective, affordable, and convenient therapy for obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), a mental health condition characterized by the presence of repetitive and unwanted thoughts, images, or urges, known as intrusive thoughts, and compulsions, mental or physical actions performed to relieve distress. Our licensed therapists specialize in exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy, the gold-standard treatment for OCD, and we provide support between sessions, when it’s needed most.
Because we’re committed to providing the OCD community with highly personalized care, NOCD Therapists can also treat members of the OCD community who are experiencing other mental health conditions alongside OCD, including mood disorders, anxiety disorders, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD).
If you’re struggling with OCD and symptoms of any of these co-occurring conditions, we can help. You can book a free 15-minute call with our team to learn more about starting treatment with NOCD. On your call, we can answer any questions you might have about treatment for OCD and co-occurring conditions and help you get matched with a NOCD Therapist who’s trained to provide the treatment you need.