Almost everyone doubts their memories from time to time. According to Dr. Nicholas Farrell, Director of Clinical Development & Programming at NOCD, it’s “normal to occasionally have concerns or worries about what you’ve done in the past.”What is False Memory OCD? Signs, symptoms, and treatment
For people navigating obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), however, concerns about the memories can become all-consuming—leading to compulsive behaviors meant to try to gain certainty about what happened. “People with OCD obsessively worry about a memory, when in fact that memory is untrue, exaggerated, or distorted,” explains Dr. Farrell.
These behaviors are often indicative of a subtype of OCD known as false memory OCD, or real event OCD. In this article, we’ll explore what false memory OCD is, how to identify if you’re dealing with it, and ways to find relief.
OCD and false memories
False memory OCD is an OCD subtype characterized by ongoing obsessions with the past that cause anxiety, guilt, shame, and other negative emotions. In response, people with false memory OCD engage in compulsions meant to neutralize feelings of anxiety, and gain certainty about the past.
For people with false memory OCD, intrusive thoughts can emerge at any time—and may center on events that are long in the past. “I’ve treated people who are still worried about things from decades ago,” says Dr. Patrick McGrath, Chief Clinical Officer at NOCD. Luckily, false memory OCD, like all subtypes of OCD, can be treated. Read on to learn more about how to figure out whether you might be dealing with false memory OCD, and how to get help.
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False memory OCD symptoms
As with all forms of OCD, the primary symptoms of false memory OCD are obsessions and compulsions. In the context of false memory OCD, the obsessions—or unwanted and intrusive thoughts, sensations, images, feelings, or urges—are related to memories of past experiences. Doubt about what may or may not have happened usually feels so intense that people engage in physical or mental compulsions (repetitive, often ritualistic behaviors) to relieve distress. However, this relief is only temporary, so obsessions inevitably re-emerge.
So, unsurprisingly, people with false memory OCD often try to draw some conclusion about what their memories mean. For instance, if you’re navigating this subtype, you might ask, “am I a terrible person?”
To better understand false memory OCD, let’s review some common obsessions and compulsions:
Obsessions common in false memory OCD
- Worrying you said something inappropriate to your friend.
- Feeling significant distress, when recalling a time you hurt your sibling as a child.
- Worrying that someone you had sex with didn’t actually consent—despite not having any reason to be concerned about this.
- Generalized concern that fears about bad things occurring means these outcomes have already happened.
If you’re still unsure about whether you’re dealing with false memory OCD, it can be wise to speak with a health provider. Memory issues can be a symptom of other conditions, including substance use disorder, dementia, brain fog, and disassociation—so it can be important to rule out any other health concerns.
Common compulsions in false memory OCD
- Mental review: Mental review is when you repeat a memory you are worried about in your head over and over until you feel you’ve gained enough clarity. However, any relief you get from compulsions disappears quickly, and the OCD cycle continues. This is the most common compulsion for people with false memory OCD.
- Reassurance-seeking: Reassurance-seeking usually takes the form of repetitive question-asking to gain a sense of certainty. If you are navigating false memory OCD, you might repeatedly ask your family and peers for their memory of the event you’re concerned about. “ I’ve seen people alienate friends because they are just constantly seeking out reassurance,” Dr. McGrath says.
- Checking: Checking is a form of compulsion that involves examining physical evidence for clues or confirmation of what happened. For example, you may revisit a location you are concerned about, or try to get video footage from friends or family who may have recorded an event on their phones.
- Research: Excessive research can take the form of Googling, going through news archives at the library, or consistently comparing your own experiences with others’ via forums like Reddit or Quora. People with false memory may excessively research events, people, and locations related to their memories in an attempt to gain clarity.
- Confession: Even if you believe your memories to be false, your OCD might convince you to confess potential wrongdoings to those around you, in an attempt to reduce feelings of guilt.
- Avoidance: You may avoid situations, people, or places in an effort to ease anxiety. For example, if you’re convinced you have forgotten to pay at a restaurant, you may start avoiding the restaurant entirely.
- Distraction and thought suppression: Filling your mind with positive thoughts, or trying to stop negative ones, may sound like a helpful technique, but it usually backfires. These methods fail to quell OCD symptoms, because they don’t address the root cause: an inability to accept uncertainty.
Am I experiencing normal doubts or false memory OCD?
False memory OCD can be difficult to diagnose because the symptoms aren’t always associated with OCD. “Often, it’s not identified by mental health professionals,” Dr. Farrell says. However, a therapist who specializes in OCD and has been trained to treat it will be able to make an accurate diagnosis. They can work with you to design a treatment plan specifically for your unique symptoms.
Since everyone doubts their memories sometimes, and may even occasionally seek reassurance from time to time, you might wonder whether your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors are “normal.”
Here are some ways to distinguish between common, occasional doubts surrounding memory and false memory OCD:
#1: Your memory doubts won’t go away
If you experience memory doubts for a significant portion of every day, or if doubts continue to emerge about new events, it’s likely OCD may be a cause. “In OCD, a fear of false memories does not go away once the person has gotten reasonable evidence that they are innocent,” Dr. Farrell explains. “Instead, their brain starts finding further possibilities of uncertainty, creating new scenarios that start the cycle over again.”
#2: Your false memories feel very convincing
False memories that occur in the context of OCD feel very real, accurate, or believable. This is one of the reasons why they are so hard to let go of. “If you find that your memory doubts are relentlessly compelling, that could be a sign of OCD,” Dr. Farrell says.
#3: You attribute a lot of meaning to your false memories
A common thread among all types of OCD is a tendency to attribute importance or meaning to intrusive events. “In the case of false memory OCD, people may think their doubts mean they are a bad person, or that they deserve punishment,” says Dr. Farrell.
#4: Your doubts cause significant distress
“People with OCD may feel overwhelming anxiety, guilt, or shame about what they fear they did or didn’t do,” Dr. Farrell explains. This is in part because false memory OCD can make memory doubts feel more persuasive and meaningful than they would otherwise.
#5: You perform compulsions
People with false memory OCD engage in behaviors to try to neutralize their doubts, but Dr. Farrell points out that these behaviors only exacerbate distress for people with OCD—while one-time behaviors like checking, research, or reassurance-seeking may actually provide permanent relief for someone who doesn’t have the condition.
Treatment: ERP therapy
The best course of treatment for false memory OCD, like all types of OCD, is exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy. ERP is considered the most effective OCD treatment and has been found highly effective through decades of rigorous research.
ERP therapy for false memory OCD usually starts by tracking your obsessions and compulsions related to false memory, and making a list with your therapist of how distressing each thought is. Your therapist will then work with you to slowly expose you to these fears, starting with the least distressing. The goal with these exercises is to prevent yourself from performing compulsions, and learn a new way to respond. According to Dr. Farrell, “when people make progress through ERP, they gain a whole new ability to tolerate uncertainty and manage their symptoms—even when they confront memory doubts that used to overwhelm them.”
Let’s imagine you’re experiencing concerns that you said something inappropriate to a friend. As a result, you’ve begun avoiding your friend entirely. Your ERP therapist would likely work with you to face your fear of seeing your friend again. This process might take time, especially if this exposure feels overwhelming, but you’d eventually learn better ways to manage your anxiety. “After ERP therapy, the anxiety of the unknown no longer feels as terrifying or unmanageable,” Dr. Farrell says.
Bottom line
The cycle of intrusive thoughts and obsessions in false memory OCD can be incredibly distressing, because it can make you doubt your most fundamental beliefs about yourself. But, it is possible to regain your time back from compulsive behaviors, and learn to accept the uncertainty everyone lives with about past events. “I’m here to tell you that there is hope,” says Dr. Farrell. “With the right tools and support, you can achieve life-changing results.”
Key takeaways
- People with false memory OCD experience frequent doubts about the past and can become convinced they’ve done wrong.
- Everyone has doubts about the past sometimes, but these concerns usually disappear quickly—unless you are dealing with OCD.
- False memory OCD is treatable. Through ERP therapy, you can learn to stop spending time on compulsive behaviors, and regain trust in yourself.
