Kaitlin Blum Hatfield

I came to NOCD as a clinician’s worst nightmare. I was skeptical, resistant, and scared. I didn’t really understand what was happening in my own mind, and I had spent so much time trying to control my fears that my life had become smaller and smaller. My NOCD journey started after a traumatic experience at work when a homeless man attempted to assault me. It triggered so many fears that I was already struggling with, and suddenly I felt completely consumed by my OCD. My checking OCD became overwhelming. I was afraid that I might accidentally harm a man if I thought he was going to assault me. My thoughts became so dark that I started ruminating about how everyone’s life would be better without me. At the same time, I was dealing with the trauma of my childhood cancer diagnosis and infertility diagnosis. Those thoughts began to consume me too. I was constantly googling symptoms and avoiding doctor appointments because I was terrified of what I might find. I was also in an abusive relationship where my body was constantly picked apart. I started taking photos of myself, weighing myself constantly, starving myself, and doing anything I could to change the way I looked, so that I could feel like I was enough. By the time I started treatment, I was a shell of a person. I completely lost myself. After my first session with Kaitlin Blum Hatfield, something changed. For the first time, I realized I wasn’t crazy. The things I was experiencing were real. The things that had happened to me were real. And my safety behaviors were ways I had learned to cope with those experiences and try to make myself feel safe in an uncertain world. We started building my fear and response list, and one fear in particular broke my heart. I grew up as a competitive swimmer. Swimming was something I loved. But after being assaulted by two boys on my swim team, I never felt safe in the water again. I eventually stopped doing the one thing I loved because my brain had convinced me that somehow the water was dangerous and something bad would happen to me. For 9 years, I stayed away from that part of myself. Today, I went to a pool alone and got in the water alone for the first time in 9 years! It was exhilarating. I’m saying that with happy tears because I never do things alone. I have been so afraid of being attacked or something bad happening, that even something as simple as going to a pool by myself felt impossible. But I did it! I did it by myself! And for the first time in 9 years, I felt like I got a piece of myself back. I took my life back. I came to NOCD terrified that there was something fundamentally wrong with me. Today I have hope. I’m excited about my future, and I’m excited to start actually living my life instead of organizing it around fear. Kaitlin, you have saved my life. I truly don’t know where I would be without your care, patience, wisdom, and support. You have helped me understand myself, face things I never thought I could face, and take back pieces of my life that I thought I had lost forever. I will forever be grateful for you and for the work you have helped me do.

Kaitlin is truly an amazing counselor! She really takes the time to hear all your thoughts and feelings, checks back in on things discussed at previous sessions, and goes above and beyond to reach out and check in or give support even outside of the sessions. She relates to you but doesn’t make the conversation about herself. She works with you to find exposures that really fit what you’re dealing with, not just “textbook” exposures. You can tell she is genuine in how she listens, responds and cares while also encouraging you to overcome your OCD. She’s mindful of time but never rushes things. She brings a calm and confident demeanor to sessions that leave you feeling the same. She always wraps up sessions by reviewing what was discussed and the plan until the next session and ensures you feel settled before ending the session. I’m so very thankful for Kaitlin!

Making gains towards fighting odd intrusive thoughts

I’m working hard on keeping my Ned monster away. I’m working on not confessing so much.

This was a great session to get us informed on how treatment will start and what to expect

We thought the session went very well, and are looking forward to the beginning treatment.

I always feel seen and heard with Kaitlin. She truly is great and always helps me think things through, explains what I don’t understand or have questions on, and helps me learn during each session. She motivates and encourages me and helps me realize the wins I am making, even if they are small. I can’t put how I feel into words as words won’t do it justice but I’m so grateful that I got matched with Kaitlin as my therapist.

Kaitlin is amazing. The progress I have already made makes me proud of myself. I can’t wait to continue this journey with her and see how far I will get from where I started.