1. Lay out a few treatment goals for yourself
Maybe you’ve spent the past few years really nervous about trying therapy, or sure that you don’t need it. Or maybe you’ve been in therapy before and you just want to do a bit of psychological touch-up because life is always throwing new situations at you.
Whatever your experience with therapy has been, and whichever diagnosis you might have received, the most important thing is knowing what you want to get out of therapy. There’s no point in going just to go, so while your goals will continually change throughout your time in therapy, try to chart out a few main objectives that you can share with prospective clinicians when you give them an initial call.
You might say something like: “Hello, I’m Bob, and I’m 30 years old. I’ve been really struggling lately with social anxiety, and my main goal is to feel more comfortable meeting people because avoiding social situations just ends up making me lonely. I also feel pretty panicked whenever someone disagrees with me at work, so another goal I have is to tolerate disagreement without taking it so personally and so seriously.”
2. Choose the type of clinician you’d like to meet with
You may or may not have preferences about this. The most obvious choice to make is whether or not you want to see someone who can prescribe medication– if so, the only option among mental health practitioners is a psychiatrist. Of course, other clinicians can always refer you to a psychiatrist, but know that psychologists, social workers, and counselors cannot prescribe. Often people will see a psychiatrist for medication management and a therapist for, well, therapy.
Of these other three, psychologists typically have the most traditional schooling because they’ve had to complete a PhD. This matters to some people, but not to everyone. Social workers and counselors have special licenses, but haven’t always done as much research work as psychologists. The other factors on this list will often be more important as you determine which clinician to schedule an appointment with, but it might help if you do a little research of your own on these different types of clinicians and decide how much the differences matter to you. In the real world, it often barely matters which degree someone has.
It’s perfectly alright not to know yet what kind of mental health professional you want to see, or whether or not you’ll want to try medication. You’ll figure these things out over time, and it’s pretty rare that someone sees just one clinician throughout their treatment. But if I can put my own experience to use here, I’ve found that psychologists tend to be a little more “by the book” and a little more specialized than the others.
Friends who were more interested in generally feeling better often found social workers and counselors quite helpful; but those with more specialized concerns, like obsessive-compulsive disorder, found that psychologists were more likely to have a detailed understanding of them.
3. If there’s a specific type of therapy you want to do, keep that in mind
There’s a bunch of different types of therapy. Cognitive behavioral therapy, or CBT, has been the biggest in the US and most other western countries for a few decades. But a number of other forms of therapy, like ACT and DBT, are also worth looking into.
Once again, the type of therapy might not be as important of a factor for you, especially if you’re just starting out. That’s fine– each type can offer you something useful, and each has its drawbacks. But if you’re looking for something more specialized, like Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) for OCD, then you might need to look a bit harder before you find someone who’s been trained in it.
4. Decide how far you’re able to travel to see them
This one can be hard to remember when you’re just starting out, but unless you have no choice you’re probably not going to want to travel an hour each way to see your therapist for 45–60 minutes. You don’t want to set up your treatment to fail, so be realistic with yourself, knowing that you’re going to be making the same trip, back and forth, every week for an extended period of time. This also depends on the type(s) of transportation available to you. And the more specialized your needs, the farther you might need to go.
5. Figure out how much you’re able to pay
Unfortunately, mental health treatment is really expensive. And it usually gets more expensive with each layer of additional training. This also varies by location and demand, but many psychiatrists charge at least $400 per hour. Insurance coverage (see #7 below) can also make the cost less overwhelming, but you’ll typically still be paying at least a portion out of pocket.
Therapists are usually a good amount cheaper than psychiatrists, but you’ll probably see them more often, and for longer appointments. So you still end up feeling like you’re paying a lawyer or something. And any kind of specialization tends to make things pricier. Unfortunately, whenever the supply is lower, the price goes up; there are fewer people trained in ERP, for example, so their appointment books tend to be jammed and they can charge a lot.
I wish I could say cost shouldn’t be a determining factor as you consider mental health treatment, but that would be a bit naive. Still, there are ways to make things less expensive- more on that below.
6. Decide when you’re free for appointments
Most clinicians work hours sort of similar to the rest of the 9–5 world. Sometimes they’ll stretch out their day in one direction or another, and a few will see patients over the weekend, but if you can find a few ways to be flexible with your own schedule you’ll have more options.
Don’t worry yet about trying to find a time that will work every single week. But go in with a sense of when you’re usually free, and a specific idea of times you could go in for a first appointment. If you’re only free on Mondays at 7pm, you’ll need to jot down quite a few phone numbers.
7. Take a moment to find your insurance card
Nobody ever wants to talk about insurance– and, to be honest, I don’t really either. But, even for those fortunate enough to have health insurance, it’s a constant battle for people undergoing mental health treatment. Therapists, and especially psychiatrists, can be unaffordable if insurance isn’t footing at least some of the bill, so it’s good to know what to expect in terms of coverage.
If you don’t have insurance, and paying out of pocket isn’t a viable option, it’s worth looking for providers who offer a sliding scale for payment. This is something you’ll need to discuss with them during your initial phone call or first appointment. Don’t be afraid to ask about payment, because you’re certainly not the first person to mention it.
If you need someone who takes a specific kind of insurance, say Blue Cross or Aetna, your insurance provider might have an online portal for finding clinicians. These will limit your choice, but might save you a headache further down the line. Check out the insurance provider’s website or give them a call to find these resources. Otherwise, it’s often possible to pay upfront and submit the bill to insurance for partial reimbursement. Check this ahead of time, or you’ll add a headache on top of your mental health concerns.
8. Find a bunch of clinicians, call them, and narrow it down
Once you’ve considered all these factors, do a lot of Googling, ask people you know for suggestions, use online directories, and use your insurance provider’s portal, if applicable. If one mental health professional tells you they’re all booked, ask them if they wouldn’t giving you a few names of people they’d recommend. Calling a good number of therapists or psychiatrists will make sure you’re not stuck without one when you call the first one and something seems off.
What might you look for during an initial phone call? All the things we’ve addressed so far would be good typical considerations. Also, if you have a strong preference for a mental health professional with specific characteristics (e.g. gender, race, political identity) you might be able to discuss these– or discern them– at this early stage. And just make sure there’s nothing that makes you feel weird about them after just one phone call. I’ve never heard of this happening, but it seems possible.
9. Now do an initial appointment with one or more of your options
If you find someone who seems like a good match and you have mutual availability, go in for an initial appointment. They’ll probably have you fill out a bunch of thrilling forms and inventories, but you should also get a chance to ask them questions. This is a good time to get an overall feel for the way they like to approach treatment. And just be mindful of the way you feel around this person. Your goal is to have them as a collaborator in your journey toward feeling better, learning more about yourself, and meeting the goals you laid out in Step #1 above. They’re not a friend or romantic partner, but you definitely shouldn’t dislike them either.
Does their style of questioning make you uncomfortable? Do they speak too much, leaving you feeling more like you’ve just left a lecture hall? Do they say nothing at all, or do they seem distracted? These could all be red flags for you, and you have no obligation to continue with someone just because you’ve done a consultation, or even a bunch of appointments, with them. The nice part about all of this is you get to make your own decisions, and figure out what works best.
It can be a bit awkward to tell someone you’re going to look for other options instead, and it might even feel like you’re letting them down, but if something really puts you off then it’s not worth going back. The nice part is you can do this whichever way feels easiest: phone, email, in person. Usually none of this happens, because there are countless good clinicians out there. But it’s worth mentioning simply because it’s never helpful to feel stuck with a therapist or psychiatrist who isn’t a great fit.
10. Try it out– you’re allowed to change your mind
If you’ve found someone you like enough, you’ll just have to work out a time to come back and start working on the better stuff– now that those forms and inventories are hopefully a thing of the recent past. As studies of the relative efficacy of different forms of therapy and countless real experiences continue to demonstrate, the “fit” between clinician and patient is the single most important predictor of treatment success. In my experience, you don’t really need to look forward to therapy exactly, but you probably shouldn’t hate it either.
Try to go in with an open mind, because new perspectives on your life can arrive with thrilling frequency. Therapy is never a magic potion, but at its best it can help you help yourself much more effectively. It can open you up to possibilities that you’ve always wanted to realize, but could never quite arrive at. Whether you’re trying out medications, just talking with someone, doing a specialized form of therapy, or combining all of it, there’s a lot to learn, and much to gain.
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Other thoughts? Tell us in the comments.